


And Your Sorrow Shall Become Joy

by ariannadi



Series: The Inquisition Remains [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Miscarriage, Post-Trespasser, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariannadi/pseuds/ariannadi
Summary: Losses may seem like foreverBut gains are forever rejoiced."When the both of them had first found out - neither had been prepared for the little spark of unfathomable happiness, instantly shadowed by hearts filled to spilling with grief."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I won't lie, this starts out pretty sad, but it gets better - I promise ^^
> 
> This is a prequel to "Woes of Regality" and takes place in the same universe where the Inquisition didn't disband.

When the both of them had first found out - neither had been prepared for the little spark of unfathomable happiness, instantly shadowed by hearts filled to spilling with grief.

Arian had just returned from an excursion involving elves' disappearance near the border of the Free Marches, when she began complaining of a stabbing pain somewhere below her abdomen. Despite Cullen's worry, she passed it off as nothing - only to jolt him awake in the middle of the night when their sheets were stained as red as wine - a sight he wouldn't soon forget.

The healer came and examined her, Cullen holding onto his wife for dear life as the woman's bony fingers picked and prodded at every part of Arian's body.

Eventually, the elder pulled away, looking completely _devastated_ for the both of them.

"I'm sorry," she told them in a raspy, heartfelt voice. "It would seem, my lady, that you were barely a month with child. But..."

Cullen instantly felt his world come crashing around him, moisture arising in his eyes as the thought of what they suddenly had and all at once _lost_ flooded every one of his senses.

Arian, trembling in his arms, was in far worse shape. Her eyes went wide for a moment as realization struck, and then she began to sob in agony, her cries growing more shrill with every minute the reality of it all pounded into their very souls.

He wanted to offer her comfort - tell her that all would be okay, that they'd work through this just like every other trial they had faced together since they had met.

But how could he? They had lost their child, their own flesh and blood - yet _another_  sacred life destroyed by the blasted world around them.

The healer left them to their mourning after some time, and Cullen did the only thing he could in that moment. He held his wife as tightly as he could, their choked tears intermingling into the eerily still silence around them.

 

* * *

 

In those weeks after, Arian grew distant from him - going so far as to sleep on the divan in their quarters when she finally retired at the end of the day. In a way, Cullen couldn't blame her. She had spoken before of how if they ever did have children they would no doubt take after him - and such a thought likely chased her every qualm on what had went wrong.

About two months after that, she slowly began opening up to him once more, starting with a tender kiss goodnight one evening, followed by her grabbing for his hand when they went on one of their daily walks around the hold.

One night, as he was removing his armor, he found her out on the balcony of their quarters, overlooking the mountains beyond with a blessedly serene expression.

"I don't know why it affected me so much," she admitted when he approached her. "We didn't even know it was there, and yet, it still killed me in every sensible way when we... found out."

Cullen reached for her, but thought better of it and retracted his hand. He would let her come to him when she was ready. Right now, he just needed to listen.

Arian turned to face him with tired eyes that spoke volumes of her emotional exhaustion. "I'm sorry. Cullen, I know I've been acting isolated, but I want you to know it's not your fault. I just... I think about everything that went into creating what we lost, and it just tears me apart all over again."

The man nodded, his eyes boring into hers with everything he could muster. "I know, Arian. This... this wasn't the way I wanted us to begin our lives together. Trust me when I say: a piece of my heart is broken, and it always will be. I so wish I could've done _something_ -"

"Cullen," Arian interrupted, stepping forward and embracing him, "There wasn't anything you, or I, could've done. I understand that now. These things... they just happen sometimes. But, we can always try again, and this time, we'll be wiser about it all."

Cullen nodded, burying his nose into her silky hair. "I want to. I want us to have a family, Arian. I know it may be too soon to try, but..."

He wasn't able to speak further. Instead, Arian had pulled his face to hers, slanting her lips over his with a passion unbeknownst to the both of them. Cullen instantly responded, winding his fingers in her hair as he titled his head to accommodate her further.

Maker, he had missed her.

That night was filled with countless hours of thundering hearts and breathless sighs, of bodies moving together in the hope of something new, something _precious_ blossoming into the void their experiences had carved.

As the sun rose in the early morning, Cullen kept his wife close - his fingers dancing over every inch of her skin, his heart _soaring_ when she nuzzled her head into his chest. Barely, but all the same, he could feel the smile she had pressed against his flesh - personifying the hope and promise that had graciously nestled its way back into their lives.

 

* * *

 

It had been a long, tiresome day, consisting of soldiers blaming one another for a missing cheese wheel and lieutenants getting up in arms over who was to lead the evening watch. 

When Cullen finally managed to escape to his and Arian's quarters just as the sun was setting, he hadn't been expecting to bump into the elderly healer, making her way out of the room just as he was entering.

"Commander," she acknowledged as she passed him, a beaming smile donning her wrinkled cheeks. 

Cullen curiously watched after her as she rounded the staircase leading down to the main hall, and then he shook himself out of it in favor of the next thoughts to cross his mind.

Why had she been there? Was Arian ill?

He made his way up into their quarters, stopping when he saw Arian standing in front of her desk with her back turned to him.

"Arian?" he questioned, stepping toward her. "Is everything alright, love?"

He hadn't been prepared for the beautiful smile nor glistening eyes he was met with when she finally rotated to face him. He couldn't even get a word in before she launched herself at him, burying her fingers in his hair as her head fell into his chest.

"Oh, Cullen," she nearly cried, " _Emma lath,_ I have the most wonderful news."

All at once, the Commander's breath caught in his throat and his heart practically stopped beating. Cullen pulled the elf away from him long enough to look her in the eyes, his own quivering with a bubbling concoction of hope.

"Arian...?" he muttered, his voice hoarse. 

His love didn't even have to voice anything, she just nodded a few dozen times as tears trekked their way down her cheeks.

Cullen embraced the life out of her then, pressing kisses everywhere possible as his own abrupt tears beaded and fell onto his wife's skin.

"The healer said I'm three months along," Arian whispered to him in pure happiness. "She's certain all's as it should be - I just have to take it easy, and that's not even the best part."

Not the best part? What could be better than knowing that in half a year's time he would be father to a beautiful little blend of both himself and the love of his life?

By Andraste, even _that_ would take some getting used to.

"The best part?" Cullen repeated, voice shaky with indescribable _joy._

Arian reached for his hand, bringing it to rest on the small curve of her abdomen that he suddenly registered was indeed _there._

"The healer used her specialty magic to ensure everything was fine... and she sensed _two_ heartbeats." she told him in a tone of both wonder and excitement.

Her cryptic words had him puzzled, at first. But he quickly digested the information - coming to conclude that by two heartbeats she did not, in fact, mean hers and their child's.

"Two?" Cullen echoed breathlessly, "As in...?"

"Yes," Arian answered with a hiccuping laugh, pressing a kiss to his chin. "We're having twins, Cullen."

Cullen's cheeks nearly split with the smile he exhibited as he pulled his beloved back into his arms, never, _ever_ wanting to let her go. "Oh, Arian. This is... I-I can't even describe how _happy_ I am," he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

"I can't either," she confessed through her tears, laughing girlishly when he picked her up by her waist and spun her around.

And for the rest of that night they held one another as close as possible, their shared excitement and murmurings of what was to come carefully gluing the cracked pieces of their hearts back together.

 

* * *

 

A few months from that unforgettable evening, Cullen awoke in the middle of the night and once again found Arian out on the balcony, her wavy, wheat tresses and the loose gown she wore swishing about her. The man sighed affectionately when she turned to greet him, her swollen middle and soft features rendering the elf almost _ethereal_ under the pale moonlight.

" _Ma vhenan,_ " she breathed as Cullen snugly wrapped his arms around her, shielding her from the chilly upwind rising from the valley below.

"You should be inside, my darling," he chided her without any bite, "I don't want you catching cold."

She nodded against his chest, then rose her head to leave a soft kiss to his lips.

"I know," the woman groaned, "But your children wouldn't let me sleep." She reached for his hand then, placing it against a certain spot on her belly - where he felt a series of powerful flutters against his palm.

"I'm telling you, Arian, we have a couple of warriors on our hands," Cullen teased, pressing his lips to her forehead. Arian softly laughed in response.

"And they'll have the best mentor they could ever possibly ask for," his wife said to him, her eyes squinting with mirth. She was silent for a moment after before murmuring, "Just another few months... I can hardly wait."

Cullen smiled in agreement. "Nor can I," he confessed, then turned the both of them to lead her back inside. "But until then, best to take precautions - like residing where it's _warm,_ for instance."

"You mother goose," Arian, snickering, accused of him. 

He just shook his head once they were back in the pleasant confines of their chambers, turning to close the glass doors to the balcony so the chill wouldn't find its way within. Once Arian settled herself on the bed, he went to poke at the embers of the mantle, getting the room to a comfortable temperature.

As he climbed onto his side of the mattress, Arian immediately snuggled up to him, resting her head against his arm.

"By the way," he suddenly muttered, just as her eyes began to close. "I don't believe 'mother goose' is an accurate term for my behavior," he playfully defended himself.

His wife rose up on her arm to look him in the eyes. "Is that so?" she asked as she smiled cheekily. "Well then, what _would_ you describe it as being?"

Cullen didn't answer, not at first, anyway. Instead he cupped Arian's cheek, leaning forward to slant his mouth over hers - all of the love and adoration he felt for her in that moment conveyed through the gentle movement of his lips.

"I'm simply being a husband," he breathed into her mouth, "And, a _father_."

**Author's Note:**

> **Thanks for reading :) Kudos, comments, and anything else always make my day brighter ^^**


End file.
